Shit My Players Say
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Player 1: How are you going to open this door?
Player 2: Religion.
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“I got a nat 20 on my fart check, what happens?”
~Our fighter during a long day of travel
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“If we can’t find a use for this horn of blasting we’re just going to keep bringing it up until we end up solving all our problems with it”
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“We negged a [celestial] so bad he lost faith and died”
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Mortasheen is a fun RPG
Player: I go over and give him a high five.
Me: I forget, is this like a brain melting high five, or a genuine act of friendship?
GM: No, this is a new move.
Player: It causes seizures.
The NPC was successfully inflicted with several status effects.
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magic item: horn of silent alarm
Player: “We do have that horn of ‘only one person in range can hear it’”
[DM laughs]
Player: “Yeah you didn’t think we’d use that one, did ya!”
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“Yes, you can make a five foot peanut with Creation.” — our DM as we try to build a trap for a chipmunk wearing purple glasses -
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“If throwing up isn’t a help action right now, what is?” -
“Is deepthroating considered a grapple?”
Player in fight against a giant skeleton armored warrior