Shit My Players Say

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The wonderful wit, witticism, and weirdness of tabletop gamers. Need help submitting a quote? Check our FAQs!

Want advice on how to run a game, play a game, or find a game? Try the RPG Stack Exchange, @lfglistings, and Roll20!

New reader? Bored and looking for a laugh? Check out a random quote!


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  • DECEPTIVE PALADIN

    Context: one player has a ring that gives advantage to deception checks but feels its cursed as it wont come off, so never uses it.

    ROGUE: I want your ring

    WARLOCK: noone is getting this ring

    ROGUE: I have a +5 to sleight of hand

    PALADIN out of nowhere: I have a +5 to stop the bleeding

    • July 13, 2019 (5:08 pm)
    • 576 notes
    • #shit my players say
    • #dnd
    • #submission
    • #stealing things for fun and profit
    • #this is how you paladin
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