Shit My Players Say

Tiptoeing in Plate Mail

My players consist of a fire elemental monk, one half-elf rogue and one half-elf sorcerer, a warlock elf, a kenku fighter and an aasimar paladin. They’re currently entering a barbarian dragonborns lair to rescue a duchess.

Paladin: I’m going to follow the warlock through the side window. *Rolls d20* yes!!!

DM: okay, but since you’re 6'1’’, wearing plate mail, and climbing through a small window, I’m gonna have you roll with triple disadvantage.

Paladin: no!!! *she rolls anyway, and gets two more d20s*

The party is shocked into silence.

DM: … You seamlessly slip through the window like you do it on a regular basis.

The table then erupts in laughter.

Later, it was ironic because the rest of the party rolls hilariously bad and they attracted attention anyway.