Shit My Players Say

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In our current campaign our dragonborn ranger managed to take out a bunch of cultists with lightning breath and was showing off and winked at one of the other party members to flirt with them.
Rogue: *glaring at the party member* If you touch him, I will END you. He is underage!
Ranger: Aw come on!
Rogue: Alright, new rule, anyone inappropriately touches the dragonborn, I stab them.
Gnome Cleric: So, no lay on hands then?
Rogue: Just keep it above the belt line.
Gnome Cleric: *distressed* But I can’t REACH above the belt line!
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