Shit My Players Say

Monk:

I roll to investigate for a healing potion. [

8 investigation

]

Me, the DM:

You sure find some potions

.

Monk:

Red ones?

Me:

There sure are some red ones.

Many

kinds.

Monk:

Just a regular healing potion bottle then?

Me:

Not all healing potions come in the same flask! This isn’t Legend of Zelda!

Monk:

Okay I just take one then.

Me, knowing where this is going:

…….. give me an intelligence check.

Monk:

[

17 INT

]

Me, pointedly looking him in the eye:

Given the fact that this is the

private hoard of the Grand Sultan

you can guess that this isn’t some

standard healing potion

.

Monk:

Cool I drink it.

Me:

SO I NEED TO BORROW SOME DICE BECAUSE Y'ALL REMEMBER THAT ALCHEMIST’S FIRE I MENTIONED EARLIER???