Shit My Players Say

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So I (our fighter) had been holding on to a stale breadstick and planning to use it as a weapon. I entered a room to find a large frankenstein’s-monster-esque creature.
Me: I take out the breadstick and throw it at him!
DM: Make a dex roll.
Me: *rolls a 1*
DM: He eats the breadstick. It is a satisfying meal.
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