Shit My Players Say

The wonderful wit, witticism, and weirdness of tabletop gamers. Need help submitting a quote? Check our FAQs!

Want advice on how to run a game, play a game, or find a game? Try the RPG Stack Exchange, @lfglistings, and Roll20!

New reader? Bored and looking for a laugh? Check out a random quote!

rss
archive

Context: the party is traversing a mountain pass in a blizzard a la Lord of the Rings scene. DM has everyone roll the dice to see if they don’t fall down the cliff, and dwarf warrior in heavy plate armor fails the check.
DM: Heavy gust of wind pushed you off the path. You slip and fall off the cliff. What do you do?
Dwarf: I flap my arms really really hard.
DM: Seriously?
Dwarf: it’s not like I got better options.
DM: ok, roll the dice.
Dwarf rolls natural 20.
DM: …
Party: …
DM: roll again.
Dwarf rolls another 20.
DM: …!
Party: …?!
DM: …sigh. With astonished look on their faces, the party behold a most miraculous sight. A dwarf in heavy armor is slowly rising up in the air above the cliff edge by flapping his arms really really fucking hard.
1. aiegiss reblogged this from cstalli
2. ihavenoideahowtodream liked this
3. metasavant reblogged this from metasavant
4. sillydragons liked this
5. sarcasmislove-sarcasmislife reblogged this from yourplayersaidwhat
6. armageddonmoon reblogged this from yourplayersaidwhat
7. armageddonmoon liked this
8. uupiic reblogged this from uupiic
9. dumbass---tm reblogged this from redemon21-blog
10. twitch-lawliet liked this
11. ampleappleamble liked this
12. supremeadmiral2613 reblogged this from sweetchcolate
13. soffesiin liked this
14. nayvwriter reblogged this from yourplayersaidwhat
15. nevertheless-moving liked this
16. kadoodlefairy liked this
17. crystalklk liked this
18. trail-mx reblogged this from trail-mx
19. thebuttnessmonster reblogged this from occasionalveggienugget
20. zanthiakhalaplace liked this
21. chilled-ice-cubes liked this
22. augustus-of-the-black-rose liked this
23. kapukicymreiges liked this
24. x-chaotic-echo-x reblogged this from jazzapples3
25. dinalagos reblogged this from juststuffandwhatever
26. jazzapples3 reblogged this from uwuitsjustme
27. jazzapples3 liked this
28. uwuitsjustme reblogged this from uupiic
29. uwuitsjustme liked this
30. juststuffandwhatever reblogged this from uupiic
31. carolina-the-canadian liked this
32. bahammagriff reblogged this from totallyfubar
33. barbariangoddessofwar liked this
34. rainbowbridges reblogged this from smallnico
35. chekovscaramelcurls liked this
36. gentlemanpirate-asks liked this
37. trinity-blaze liked this
38. 12suncaster reblogged this from yourplayersaidwhat
39. wee-miss-noone liked this
40. whatever-the-hell-i-want reblogged this from underxworlder
41. thethirteenthdoc reblogged this from jlyarts
42. thelegendofthesupernerd reblogged this from dnd-characters
43. Alex submitted this to yourplayersaidwhat
44. Show more notesLoading...